In times of grief, mourning, and loss, it is so easy to get caught up in a whirlwind of emotions. With a heavy heart and mind full of fears, doubts, and worry it becomes easy to lose sight of our purpose. To overcome something is a process. When I looked up the definition of overcome, I saw that to overcome is to prevail, conquer, or succeed in dealing with a problem or difficulty.
When dealing with the loss of a loved one recently, I endured a range of emotions in just one hour. I went from a state of shock, to disbelief, to sorrow, and then to confusion. All I wanted to do was lay in my bed and sulk. Then, I heard a voice say to me, “what shall you accomplish by doing this?” To be honest, it was accomplishing NOTHING. I was an absolute mess. Defeated, sad, numb even. In a matter of minutes, I felt empty. Seeking to be filled back up again, I laid around and moped. But, then I thought of my cousin. So full of life and don’t get me started on that infectious laugh.
I realized that his 25 years of life would be in vain, if all I did was mope. Jared had such a witty sense of humor, adventrous spirit, and love for people. The best way for me to honor him is to remember all of the great things about him and strive to uphold his legacy and all of those great qualities about him. I had to stop thinking that laying around would refill me. I realized more than ever the importance of seeking God to refill me. Refill me with his peace. Refill me with his joy. Refill me with his love and his understanding.
I know that my ways are not his ways, neither are his thoughts mine. (Isaiah 55:8). I know God is close to the broken-hearted and that he saves those crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18). Knowledge is one thing, this is the time to BELIEVE! Although, I may feel that Jared was taken too soon. God thought differently. He deemed it time to welcome another angel, a prince into his heavenly kingdom. His purpose on Earth has been fulfilled. As hard as it may be for me to accept that, it’s true. He touched so many people’s lives in such a mighty way in just 25 years. His purpose was fulfilled.
However, mine is not. Although my family’s minds may seem blown, our hearts heavy, and eyes filled with tears, we still have a purpose to pursue. He saw fit for us to remain, not for Jared’s life to be in vain. But instead to push forward towards the fulfillment his will. Although, coping with this loss is difficult, I just keep telling myself that overcoming is a process. I am also reminded of 2 Corinthians 4:8-9, “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair, persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.”
This post is dedicated to my dear cousin Jared Stephen Williams. May he rest in peace. Please keep pur entire family lifted in prayer, especially his wife Kelly and his mother Diane (My Aunt).